Some Dents Are Beautiful

Story and notes on the song “The Advocate.”

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Lyrics

Sandals of the Advocate were gentle and kind
So many years he has lived in my mind
Who would I be without these memories?
The tokens we place on a simple grace, and
An award to take home to mom
Am I good?

Strawberry baskets and a yellow paper bird
That little kid was innocent and pure
Such a macabre thought of a dent in the head
It's so easy to do to anyone else
Just make sure it's beautiful
Am I good?

CHORUS
What would I say to that little kid today?
The Advocate is here and you don't have to pay.
I know you think something's wrong with you
Trust me when I tell you that just isn't true
How many years have you waited to hear?
You are good, yes you are good.

That little kid with a grin on his face
Mud on his legs and he couldn't escape
I stood there watching just wanting to play
It surely wasn't me who was willing to save
It must have been the Advocate
He is good

CHORUS

FINAL CHORUS
What would I say to that little kid today?
The Advocate is here and you don't have to pay.
I know there was nothing wrong with you
I wish I could go back and say it to you,
That He is near and He wants you to hear,
You are good, yes you are good.

Must have been The Advocate

---

Song story

In first grade I had the best teacher, Mr. H. He wore Birkenstocks wayyy before they were popular (this was the early 80's).

One day, I made a little birdcage out of those green plastic strawberry baskets and put a paper bird inside. He was so impressed he gave me a "Creativity Award" that I took home to my mom. I was so proud and a little surprised, I didn't think it was anything special... but he did. And all these years later, that moment is still with me.

He was one of the first “advocates” in my life. He put a dent in my memory that never faded. Some dents are beautiful, but some aren’t. His was. It was also one of the last times I remember feeling normal, innocent, and "good".

This song is a letter to my younger self.

Around the same time, I remember playing with my older stepbrother near a riverbank. He was stuck in the mud, up to his thighs. It seemed like real-life quicksand, the kind we’d only ever seen in cartoons. He got out, but I remember just standing there, frozen, watching.

That memory stayed too. Maybe it was a metaphor for the years ahead. Grinning on the surface while sinking underneath. Not willing to save myself.

I was saved eventually... somehow. It must have been The Advocate. He was there all along, even when I didn’t know.

Production Notes

I've been playing music most of my life but I'm still very much an amateur at songwriting and recording. There's a real fear in putting something out there when you feel like you have no idea what you're doing. It reminds me a bit of when I used to write software. This meme could just as easily be about music production:

I struggled a lot with the final mix and “mastering,” if you can call it that. I know I could have sent it to a pro, but I just wanted to finish it. There’s some harshness in the highs I’m not sure about. Heck, there are plenty of things in the mix I'm not sure about. But I got it to a place where I was happy enough to just send it.

I’d love your feedback, good or bad, because it will help me get better. Either way, I finally put something out into the world, and I couldn’t be happier about that.

Scott E.